Discussion texts are usually written in the present tense.
Points to check:
Have you been fair to both sides? Have you supported your views with reasons ande vidence? In your conclusion, have you given a reason for what you have decided?
Structure of a discussion are:
Issue : contains of statement and preview about something.
Arguments for/Supporting arguments : after stating the issue, it is necessary to present the argument to support that one point is agreeing.
Arguments against : beside the supporting argument, discussion text need the arguments which disagree to the stated issue.
Recommendation/conclusion : It is used to tell how to solve issue by concerning the arguements for and against.
Language Features of Discussion Text
· Introducing category or generic participant
· Relating verb/to be: is, am, are, etc
· Using thinking verb: feel, hope, believe, etc
· Using additive, contrastive, and causal connection: similarly, on the hand, however, etc
· Using modalities: must, should, could, may, etc
· Using adverbial of manner: deliberately, hopefully, etc
· Conjunction/transition: although, even, if, etc
Bringing Mobile Phone To School
[Issue] Students are not allowed to bring mobile phone to school. The reasons why they shouldn't bring mobile phone are: avoiding losing mobile phone and disturbing the lesson time.
[Argument against] This policy causes parents to react. Some of them disagrees. They think students need to bring mobile phone in order to be easy checked and controlled. Some parents say that they may call their children every break time to check whether they are in the school or not. Other parents state that they don't want their children to come home late. By bringing mobile phone they are able to call their children after school off.
[Argument against] Students also have some objections. They need mobile phone to tell their family to pick them up after school. Beside that, they need mobile phone to access the internet to search some information they need during the lesson.
[Argument for] But, some other parents think differently. The parents agrees if the school prohibits students to bring mobile phone. They say that bringing mobile phone to school is useless. They are afraid their students are busy with their mobile phone. They are only calling, sending text, chatting and receiving inappropriate file during the school time. They are also worried if the mobile phone is missing.
[Recommendation] By hearing to those arguments, the school decide some policies. The policies state that students may bring mobile phone but they should leave their mobile phone in the teachers' room. They may take their mobile phone after school time.
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please your comments, but still speaks in a polite. thank you . for your attention